Today was a bit long (some of it unexpectedly) but I did plan. I made a great low points chowder last night for dinner, and that was what I planed on eating for lunch today. After I dropped the kids off at school I came home and started to plan out my dinner. We were having home made fajitas, I got this pre cooked stake strips at costco (one less thing to cut and cook, just reheat). I cut up 1 green, yellow and red bell pepper, 2 small onions and sated them in a little bit of EVOO. In another pan, just for me and Mick, I sated 2 chopped up jalapenos (mmmmm spicy). The point were a bit high for 2 fajitas (11 pts = 6 oz stake, 2 tortillas, and 1 cup of veggies).
So dinner was planned I was getting my lunch together and tracked it all. As I got my 1cup scoop of soup, I thought to my self "that doesn't look like much?". So I grabbed a 100 cal pack of snack mix, and a pack of fig nutin fruit crisp as a treat. For some reason it still didn't look filling so I grabbed a bunch of grapes. I had to work at the kids school today so I took my lunch with me and ate with a friend before my shift. My soup was so good and that 1 cup was filling, but I still ended up eating the rest of what I brought. I was SOOO full!!! Way to full!! I couldn't believe I didn't stop I just kept eating.
Then came dinner. I was so full from lunch I didn't have any snacks in between lunch and dinner. I was getting a bit hungry wile I was cooking so I just finished, then made my two fajitas. I again thought "this don't look like much" and started to think what I was going to eat with my last 9 DPs and maybe some 0pt fruit. Well I ate one fajitas and was full but..... I don't know really maybe just because it was on my plate.........or because I tracked it......... I don't know really but I ate the second one and was again STUFFED, beyond stuffed.
I'm pretty convinced that since I don't eat as much as I used to all the time my stomach cant hold as much, or I just know how to read the satisfied feeling much better. Ether way I went over that and completely throw that feeling and knowledge out the window. I stayed OP and still have 9 pts left for my day but I so don't want them! The reason I don't want them..... All my over eating made me super sick. I have been in and out of the bathroom for about 3 hours now and finally took a bath to relax. Luckily it helped and I feel better but man that sucked!!
Worst part (and its not sitting on the toilet) I feel like I let myself down. I feel guilty, like I went completely off program (even though I didn't). I feel like I binged, which in fact not listening to that "satisfied" feeling, is binging. Now I just feel like crap and its not my stomach :( I still have 9 pts left and I think I'm just going to get them in with some apple juice I got when I went to Apple Hill Saturday. Its so hard sometimes, even when your doing what your supposed to sometimes it still not right.
On a good note I am learning to read my body much better. Just wish my brain and eyes would catch up to my stomach. The food I ate today was pretty heavy and I'm finding that I just cant handle that all day, at every meal. I need my fruits and veggies to help my tummy and to help me not go over on the heavy foods. Also even though I stayed OP, I need to deal with the fact I went over my limit and ignored my body signs. One step at a time I guess. Its a long journey and this is just a little bump in the road. I'll get it down, but I suppose even if I do I'm still going to have slip ups here and there.
"When you fall off the horse, all you can do is say ouch and get back on"
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