Beach!

Today was a great day, I stayed in my points and got some fun AP's. Today we hit the beach! I felt amazing cause I got to wear a new dress my BFF (star) gave to me. It was a cute black summer/beach dress, and I felt amazing in it :)

 

Not a great pic of me and the kids but the kids look cute :)

Beautiful weather!!!

Laying on the beach working on my tan, with my hot hubby :)

 

Today was just a awesome day, I planed out my food and it felt so good to really push to stick to it. I got a good amount of AP's from all the walking. I also earned some from dance this morn.

 

I got all my good health guidelines in. I'm ready to tackle this week, head on. So far My week is going good and I feel in control.

Its HOT!!!

Ok so I live in California, In the Bay area....A pretty sweet place. Its great weather all year long, I'm in the middle of everything (forest, beach, city), and Disneyland is only a 6 hour drive away :)

I cant complain to much, but living in this awesome area has made me a woos to sever weather. We have had a heat wave this week. Today it got up to 95 (yeah I know I shouldn't complain some people have it WAY worse) but for me in my area this is HOT. Today was so hot and no matter what I just couldn't cool down. I had to work this morning, I love my job, being a Dance teacher is just awesome, but having to dance for 2.5 hours in hot weather in a room that for some reason just cant seem to get  breeze threw it, Kinda sucked. It was so hot and stuff in the studio. I even had all 3 fans going and both doors (back and front) open. Then as soon as I get home, the fam wants to go to the movies.

Aaahhhh the movies = air conditioning......yeah not today. We went to see Monsters University, super cute movie, but the theater must have turned down or off their air conditioning, cause by the middle of the movie I was sweating in my seat. When it was over I felt like I was dripping sweat. Got home, then had to cook dinner, then we had a family game night. Finally ay 10pm I got to take a cold shower and feel human again, in stead of a big sweat ball. Good news I earned 100% of my activity today and maybe the extra sweating helped burn some calories too.

Stay cool, summer is in full force :)

I have a confession to make

I have not been neglecting this blog.... I have been purposely avoiding it!

Why you may ask, simple, I didn't want to own up to my own self sabotage.

I have been bouncing around the 170's since Jan. Its now the end of June, 6 months in to the year, and I'm still where I was in Jan.

I'm not proud

I'm not happy with myself

I'm not ok with this at all

but.....

I am ready to change it.....I have to change it.

It all boils down to is a simple lack of motivation, It happens!!!! Not a big deal, I'm just proud of the fact I have not gained a ton of weight back, that I have just been yo-yoing. That to me speaks VOLUMES of where my mind is. I really will not gain all my weight back. I have truly hit that point, going back to 275 is NOT a option or a place I will ever be again. Seeing that number on a scale again scares the SHIT OUT OF ME!!! (excuse my French, but I mean business).

So now the next step in my weight loss journey, finding my motivation again....... I'm going back to basics! I am committing myself every night for the next 7 days, to post on my blog about my day, good or bad, gloating or crying, just blog. I have never kept a journal as a kid, but I do have to say keeping this blog had really helped me in my journey. It feels good to get everything out and down on paper, so to speak. hat and I have learned that a lot of people do read my blog, and I want to make sure I post the good the bad and the ugly. Cause after all we are only human, and I know for me, hearing of someone else struggles and how they over came them, has always been very uplifting. I just hope I can do that for someone else in return.

So after all that.....today has been a good day. Its the day my week stats over, right now I'm 10 points in to my weeklies and I'm ok with that :), I have a plan of what I'm eating tomorrow, and I went grocery shopping today and bought a lot of really good food for dinners and just all day stuff. I am going to use all the willpower I have to stay one plan, because simply, I deserve it! and I owe myself this.

Stay tuned :)

Starting Weight 255
Current weight  177.4
Goal weight   145
32.4 lbs to go :P

What do you do when....

You feel you have lost your motivation?
Get frustrated with your self ?
Have no desire to really push?
But still want your end goal sooooooo bad?


Go back to basics!!!!!! That's all you can do.

Since Jan I have been off, I kinda lost my motivation. Some of it was health stuff, but now I have that under control. Now its just a pure lack of motivation.

Im finding its hard to keep a positive outlook, and keep my motivation going. Its hard to lose 80 lbs and still keep the desire to keep going. Don't get me wrong I want to hit my goal weight more then anything, but I just cant seem to find that motivation I had when I started.

Losing weight is a big emotional rollercoaster. When you make the decision to really do it, and really have the drive to do it...its because your in a scary place in life. I have heared people (in my meetings and outside of them) say.....

"I want to lose weight, but nothing works"
"I tried to lose weight, but I get so frustrated, and don't see results"
" I want to, but I just don't have the time"
"I want to, but I don't want to have to make food different then what my family eats"
"Im desperate to lose weight, Im going to start a diet Monday"
" I have tried....This, that and the other thing, but nothing is working, I still give in to food"

Anything sound familiar?????????

It all sounds familiar to me, I have said all of this, But when you really hit bottom NOTHING will stop you. When you really hit bottom, you have totally had enough. Emotionally you are beat, you see all the flaws and have a desperate desire to change. The problem now is Im comfortable, Im happy where I am, Im so far from where I was. But Im still not healthy and I need to get to goal.

So now I just have to find what motivates me to get back on track. One thing that is motivating.....I want to be at goal for the Tinkerbell Half Marathon in Jan. The other thing, I feel like I'm losing muscle, Im not as toned as I was. I want that back!!!

Starting isnt easy, keeping motivated is even harder, but in the end its always worth it, because quiting is NEVER a option!