I have a confession to make

I have not been neglecting this blog.... I have been purposely avoiding it!

Why you may ask, simple, I didn't want to own up to my own self sabotage.

I have been bouncing around the 170's since Jan. Its now the end of June, 6 months in to the year, and I'm still where I was in Jan.

I'm not proud

I'm not happy with myself

I'm not ok with this at all

but.....

I am ready to change it.....I have to change it.

It all boils down to is a simple lack of motivation, It happens!!!! Not a big deal, I'm just proud of the fact I have not gained a ton of weight back, that I have just been yo-yoing. That to me speaks VOLUMES of where my mind is. I really will not gain all my weight back. I have truly hit that point, going back to 275 is NOT a option or a place I will ever be again. Seeing that number on a scale again scares the SHIT OUT OF ME!!! (excuse my French, but I mean business).

So now the next step in my weight loss journey, finding my motivation again....... I'm going back to basics! I am committing myself every night for the next 7 days, to post on my blog about my day, good or bad, gloating or crying, just blog. I have never kept a journal as a kid, but I do have to say keeping this blog had really helped me in my journey. It feels good to get everything out and down on paper, so to speak. hat and I have learned that a lot of people do read my blog, and I want to make sure I post the good the bad and the ugly. Cause after all we are only human, and I know for me, hearing of someone else struggles and how they over came them, has always been very uplifting. I just hope I can do that for someone else in return.

So after all that.....today has been a good day. Its the day my week stats over, right now I'm 10 points in to my weeklies and I'm ok with that :), I have a plan of what I'm eating tomorrow, and I went grocery shopping today and bought a lot of really good food for dinners and just all day stuff. I am going to use all the willpower I have to stay one plan, because simply, I deserve it! and I owe myself this.

Stay tuned :)

Starting Weight 255
Current weight  177.4
Goal weight   145
32.4 lbs to go :P