I have been a bad girl (long post)

I haven't blogged on here in almost 2 week. Why you may ask.........

Simply put I didn't want to face my choices. We all go through it and it happens, we make a bad choice, we have a pitty party, on a good day we pull it together and just get back on track, on other days we stay at our low till we finally decide to face our bad choice, own up to it and move on. I think that's my favorite part of life, It doesn't stop it always moves on.

On a friends WW profile she put this quote that I just love "Why are you looking in the past your not going that way"
Life moves on, with our with out you. So today I decided to blog about my bad choices (own up to them really) and leave it all behind me and move on. I did, however, want to be honest and own up.

Last Fridays WI (10/21) I had a 2.6 lbs gain. Yep those 2.6 lbs I lost the week before to make my 10 lbs goal for the dance recital found their way back. It was no fault but my own, I let life be my excuse for not eating right or tracking anything I ate. It was not a pretty gain ether, I CRIED LIKE A BABY! Then I sat in my meeting trying really hard to hear what my WW leader had to say but all I could think about was my gain and how bumbed I felt.

After each WI I always text Mick, my Mom, my Sister and a few friends who are my super support, this time I only texted Mick and my Mom. Mick said "O baby don't worry, you'll get there, I love you" (he was at work and couldn't due much else but that sweet text). My Mom knows me and she text back saying "its going to happen from time to time, hang in there" Then just as fast she called. I told her I was ok and knew this happens, after my week I expected it, it just sucks, she got quiet and then said "you don't sound OK". That was it the water works came again and I cried my eyes out on the phone to my Mom. Can I just tell you how much I love my Mom she is the best, she is one of the strongest women I know and is one of my best friends. She is supportive and understanding and makes me own up to being a butt head hehehe. She is kind, giving, and loving, and no matter what she always makes time to listen to me rant. I love you Mom!

Back to my story........So since I didn't text everyone I usually do I started get text from my friends asking how WI was. I had to own up to my gain, each time I did I got loving replies back, lots of encouragement and support. Support is KEY to weight loss, it really is. After all the kind words I started to feel better, but anyone who really knows me also knows I can put on a good front. That's just what I did, I tried to make myself believe I was fine, I told everyone I was fine, and I found things to distract myself.

On Monday I was on this awesome WW board I frequent alot hehehe. I was having a hard day eating wise so I left a post on there to get some feed back (another support group, and I have met some awesome lady's on there). I told them I felt like I was craving something but didn't know what, I wasn't hungry, I had a treat but it wasn't what I wanted, and my sweet tooth was going crazy. They gave me a bunch of tips (brush your teeth, go to bed super early, go for a walk, lock myself in my room, etc.). Then one of my boardie friends came on and said "Usually when I'm like this its because I'm not dealing with an emotional problem. I know you had a gain last WI is it still bugging you?"

It was like a light bulb went off, and the cravings stopped as soon as I read that. I knew what my problem was and she was right, it was all emotional. I replied back with "Yes it is, thanks I'm going to go have some alone time, talk with you  tomorrow". That's just what I did, I went in my room and started crying again and tried to just except, deal and move on with my gain. After my cry I played some angry birds to relax, then went to bed. I woke up the next morning feeling good. I didn't binge, and felt good about that. I used my will power and stayed out of the kitchen, and I dealt and owned up to my bad choices.

I could finally move forward, cause life was leaving me behind. Tue and today I have been really good about staying OP. I'm tracking everything I eat (the good, bad and ugly). I'm staying in my DP, and I went to Zumba class last night. I also joined a Yoga challenge on the WW website, its to do at least 20min of Yoga everyday for 1 month and I have to check in each day too. I'm pretty excited about this, cause I love yoga. Also the kids and I walked to school with some friends this morning, that walk felt so good. I also had to go to the bank and the store. Luckily for me they are in the same shopping center and pretty close together. I usually drive and park close to the bank, then get back in my car and drive and park close to the store. These places are not far from each other I mean they are like 3 parking lanes away I have just been that lazy (see I'm owning up). Today though I made the choice to park near the store, walk to the bank, then back to the store do my shopping, then walk to my car. I also didn't park as close to the store as I usually do :)

I / We are always going to have challenges. We are going to make bad choices, we are going to feel down about them. We are going to have to own up to them and we are going to have to move on. I / We need to just remember to own it and really leave it in the past.

Remember this quote "Why are you looking in the past your not going that way"

STATS as of 10/21:
Starting weight: 255
Current weight: 247.4
Goal weight: 155